I remember the day my father came back from the war, and he told us that my brother was not going to return. I was so distraught at the words when they came from his mouth that I began to cry, and after that I stopped drawing all together. It felt as though a core piece of me was gone and all my ambition of wanting to draw was gone. The feeling that I would never see my brother again just hurts me every time I think about it. The thought that my brother died, and we still lost was hard for me to understand. Why did my brother die for his county if we still lost the war? Why was all the blame for the war put on us, don’t they know that we didn’t even start this war? I wanted to know why my father did not save him. Why did he not save his own son when he might have been able to. What will happen to us with the fall of the Kaiser? Will the people target us too as someone who caused the defeat in the war? Will my father be fired because of how the war went. I have so many questions in my head that I just want to be gone. I wish my brother had not gone off to the war and died I want him to still be here.
Historical foundations: I wanted to base most of the diary on how Muller felt about the loss of her brother because It felt that he was the most important person to him. At the beginning of the comic we see that see stops drawing because of his death and only starts to draw again to get away from her father. It also makes sense that she would feel worried about the overthrowing of the Kaiser because they were also in a rather rich family and her father was also a general. While her main thoughts would be on her brother she would still have these minor thoughts about the war and how it ended especially because of who her father is.